culture shock

sorry i haven't updated in a while. i've been having a rough time with what i have diagnosed as culture shock. i don't know why it has taken me six months to get there, but it has, and i'm there.

the reality of my life here is that it's really not bad at all. i have a job, friends, even a family i get to be a part of on weekends. i'm not entirely alone at home since i have xander. though i can't deny how lonely i feel at home every night by myself. there is a sub-reality, too. that is that even when i'm with people (which is at least all day 4 days a week) i feel distant. of course there is the ever-present language barrier, but i'm able to cope with that one for the most part. there is also a cultural barrier that is significant and usually obvious to me. that's stuff like i don't get (most) hungarian jokes and hungarians don't get (some of) mine. there is also the homesickness barrier which involves the isolating fact that even the people who know me best in hungary have only known me for six months. i miss being surrounded by people who know me and my life and my past and my personality already. no offense to my hungarian peeps, they're doing well to get to know me and let themselves be known, but it's just... different.

[edited out because i want to keep my job]

so while i was home (sick) today i cleaned the kitchen, living room, and bathroom. i think it was the first time in about 3 weeks. i'm not proud of the state i let the apartment get to, but i don't apologize for it either. when i'm bummed, it doesn't help me to clean. today i forced myself to do it. i took out three bags of trash (don't get crazy, they are like midget trash can bags), washed every dish and piece of cutlery i could remember using, did the stovetop, bathtub, vacuumed, and did 3 out of 4 loads of laundry. and i listened to my iPod all the while, singing with all my heart as i revamped my apartment life.

oh, when i took the trash out i saw a black person on the other side of the street. i stared a little.

i was supposed to have a private lesson with some sweet girls this afternoon, but as i got ready to leave to meet them i looked at my phone and saw i had received a text from one of them which cancelled the lesson. i was happily surprised and even a little glad that something had tricked me into getting dressed for the day.

prayers are certainly welcome for my state of mind. i can't wait to think the differences between american and hungary are funny again. right now i just find them irritating.

when i googled "culture shock" and read a few articles, it suggests getting back in touch with my american-ness. watching movies or t.v. from america, eating american foods (which i miss much more now than i have since i've been here), talking to friends and family, hanging out with other ex-pats from USA (there aren't too many around these parts) should all do me a world of good. oh, i should also get involved in some regular activity and maintain my language learning. i should go to the same shops all the time and become a regular somewhere. i should say hi to my neighbors.
things i'm supposed to avoid isolating myself, figuring out ways to go home, talking/thinking negatively about hungary/hungarians, and trying to deny that i'm having culture shock.

some sights that have been helping me out by making me laugh are:
passiveaggressivenotes.com
cakewrecks.blogspot.com
failblog.org
postcardsfromyomomma.com
postsecret.com

for valentine's day

in hungary, the name day for valintine's day is "balint" so people wish each other "happy balint day" more often than they wish "happy valintine's day."

this week some of my students asked me "what color are you going to wear on friday?"
i was like... "uh, i don't know; it's tuesday."
they explained that if you are taken/in a relationship then on friday you should wear red.
if you are in a complicated relationship which may or may not continue, you should wear yellow.
if you are free/single, you should wear green.

i wore a burnt orange shirt on friday... because i forgot all about valentine's day.

BUT, there were signs all over the school reminding people (in hungarian) and in each class i had people take it seriously.

this is one of the many signs around the school. the first word in each circle is a color, underneath it says what each color signifies. under green it says "i am free"

here are some kiddies advertising their status to the school (and via my blog, to the world).

it also snowed a lot on thursday night/friday all day. here is a short video:

sorry i was grouchy in this. i think i'm so homesick because i'm sick of the cold weather. i miss texas!! or even florida. :(

today

the weather today is this:

that's snow, sleet/hail, and rain... i think. well, that's what it's doing outside. just ask xander.

i think i'm going to return to hungary next year. it's pretty certain i'll be in a different town, and very certain i'll be in a different school (even if i do stay in this town). bittersweet news, but i'm always game for a new adventure. i'll write more as it unfolds.

this week i've been feeling pretty homesick. i miss things you can't mail me. things like:
my family and friends,
the way america runs (with certainty, direction, purpose, logic),
shopping and being able to understand what i'm reading,
watching t.v.,
american accents,
a queen size bed with no crack down the middle,
doorways without threshholds to trip over,
radio (playing songs i know... that aren't from 10+ years ag0),
driving,
eating out,
smiling faces of strangers,
my esl immigrants,
whole wheat bread,
skim milk!!!,
chick-fil-a,
dryers,
modern buildings everywhere,
customer service,
having people around me who understand that i sometimes laugh for no reason and they don't make me explain it - you know, people who know me know me.

i realize the irony of the juxtaposition of my decision to stay another year and my recap of homsickness, but that irony has been staring me in the face all week, so i thought i'd share it.

Budapest with Gabi - part 5

XANDER had a good time in budapest, too. (yes, i bought him... i LOVE that dog!)



he got a sweater...

but he wouldn't stop moving around when i first put it on him. isn't he scary!?!?

i thought if i held him he would be still. but, no.

finally he calmed down enough for a proper photoshoot.

Budapest with Gabi - part 4

marzipan - who knew it was good for something? in szentendre, just outside of budapest, there is a marcipan muzeum and gabi's family took me there to experience it. i couldn't have ever imagined...

(this is Zrinyi Ilona - the lady after whom my school is named)

the crown jewels

creepiest thing ever

(the parliament is such a landmark and i think it's pretty well liked)

this one was really impressive in person, click on the pic to enlarge it

of course there is a gift shop where you can buy a bazillion kinds of marcipan: sugar candy, chocolates, chocolates with alcohol, figurines, caramels, suckers, and gummy candies... all mixed with/infested with marcipan.disney is so famous - everywhere

they look cute but they kind of taste like playdough

in case you didn't realize, every single thing in the museum was 100% marcipan, made by sweet little hungarian ladies. they work in a glass room in the front of the museum and you can watch them if you like. there are small signs in front of every scene/figure/statue that says who made it, when, whether it was for a competition or not, and how many hours it took (many took over 100 hours). do you agree with me that hungarians are the most patient people ever??

Budapest with Gabi - part 3

when walking around szentendre we saw such sights as these:

walking down the streets of szentendre you can see many vendors, shops, and artists

here is one such artist whom i asked in hungarian if i could take his picture. love his face in this

the average size of passageways in szentendre (gabi was in the pic, so i asked her to say hi)

cobblestone everywhere, so quaint

i want to go back to szentendre in the spring or summer when there are leaves on the trees

some guy was selling little secret boxes that are hard to get into. he'll carve your name or whatever on there if you buy it. kathryn and tom are my sis and dad, so i took a pic for y'all.

these otherwise cute purses are made out of MUSHROOMS

have you ever seen a "shop" so fulllllllll of stuff?!?!?

gabi with her apa and anya

look at her lovin' on him!

we had a nice quiet morning walking around the pretty little town. there are houses, flats, shops, museums, restaurants, and traffic... but not a lot of any of those things. it is some sort of non-touristy hungarian hideaway, so i consider myself privileged to have been taken there. :)

thanks AGAIN gabi!!

Budapest with Gabi - part 2

in between heartbeats

gabi and her parents took me to a little suburb of budapest when i was there. it's called szentendre (saint andrew) and i loved it there. there are a few museums there, and though i'm not usually the museum type, the ones we saw were fatastic! what i saw in a three room "museum" (which is actually up a wooden spiral staircase above someone's flat, probably) was so fascinating i'm certain i'll never forget it. there are teeny tiny miniature eensy weensy sculptures, paintings, and statuettes made by an unimaginably patient guy.

to prepare you for the museum (or by mere coincidence) there is a strikingly narrow path between two buildings in the center of the town. and it leads to the door of the place containing the tiniest stuff i've ever seen.

when you come in you notice little display cases that look like this. there is a tiny thing (whatever it may be) with a light and a microscope pointed at it.here is a close-up of the microscope aimed at what looks like nothing.

but here is what was actually on that little stick of nothing (head of a pin):

top row: a working padlock and key
bottom row: a disassembled padlock and key

here was another almost-nothing on a tiny pin. side view. oh, it's upside down on the pin and the microscope inverts the image.

here's what we were "looking at" in the above pic:

(by the way, that urn and those cups are sitting on a sliced grain of sugar)

this is the smallest book in the world.

it has hungarian poetry hand-written on its thinner-than-paper-thin pages. there are 12 pages... and you can turn them to read it, if you have the tools to do so. omg.

you've heard of things being so small you can fit them on the head of a pin? in the micro-museum they did it! here is a chessboard with movable pieces! i zoomed in with my camera AND we're looking through a microscope. freaking minuscule!

so, here is a poppy seed - you know those little things that get stuck in your teeth? well, these people cut one opened and made it a nest for golden sparrows... and a caterpillar.

nothing...

the most amazing thing ever!

in matthew 19:24 jesus said, "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." watch out, rich folks - i know it wasn't easy to get these camels in there.

i didn't/couldn't take pictures of everything. but there was also:

a bust of abraham lincoln carved in a sloe seed (size of a mustard seed). it's 3mm.

a life-sized baby golden flea wearing shoes.

a spring from a miniature watch with a little man walking on it. the man is 5 microns tall. (1mm=1000microns)

a golden yacht sailing on a sea – a grain of rice – with a standing woman, and a flying seagull.

a map of australia carved in glass and held in a half poppy seed.

a human hair, carved length-wise and inscribed with the word "peace" in 5 languages.

another human hair, hollowed out to make a tube, inside of which was a perfectly carved rose.

the guy who does these things (oh he also paints really small things on really small things) is some ukrainian-hungarian named Mikola Szjadrisztij. there is some info about him in the museum. he first had to make the tools necessary to make these tiny things. when he wants to make a stroke on a painting or carve a line in some gold, he has to be very still and quiet and listen to his heart beating. he has to make his move in between heartbeats or he will make an error.