anonymous

when you post anonymously on my blog, pleeeeeease sign your name (and if you're a stranger, mention that, too) 'cause i go nuts trying to figure it out. thanks.

end of school

today was my last day of teaching.

*deep and heavy sigh*

i couldn't be happier to be finished.

this year i was less content with my life than i've ever been. overall school was not good. not fun. not rewarding. i've weighed it in my mind and, though there were some good kids, good times, good lessons, good relationships, i honestly -and regretfully- think i would have been better off somewhere else this year. i try to live in such a way that i have no regrets, but this year got the best of me. i feel like i wasted my time here. that's a stomach-wrenching feeling i don't hope to experience again.

kids are kids everywhere, i realize. they're teenagers who have bigger things on their minds than learning english. it really sucks when your students don't care about what you're teaching. i think i was spoiled when i taught ESL in texas and my students were so desperate to learn english.

i also teach in language schools here where the students (adults) do their homework, pay attention for the whole lesson, and want to make up missed lessons.

i taught in a great school last year where the students are all college-bound, bright, and have good senses of humor. we got on pretty well (save 2 evil classes) and got a lot done. when we said goodbye there were cheek kisses, hugs, gifts, and even tears.

today, on my last day of school, i was jovial and jubilant and giddy and blissful, as i was wholeheartedly aware that i don't have to do this again. there were no cheek kisses, hugs, or gifts. i cried a tear or two of "wow, i actually survived" relief when i came home from the last class.

this year i taught in two schools. one is a catholic school full of mostly polite students. their ability in english varied, as did their attitudes toward learning, but at least their behavior was under control. sometimes they didn't want to learn or do anything, sometimes they whined when we had conversations for grades, but they were respectful and i felt like they cared about the kind of adults they will become.

the teachers in the good school were very friendly and helpful. they always asked about me and my classes and vacations and my life. we ate together, talked together, joked together, and had a memorable and pleasant year. i'll gladly stay in touch with the people i got to know there as long as possible. i'll likely offer them a speech of gratitude for the great year and thank them for their kindness toward a stranger in a strange land. they are the only reason i'm still sane. and that's the truth.

in the bad school... wow. there were good kids in every class, of course, but they were largely outnumbered and overshadowed by the bad behavior and attitudes rampant in the 'lutheran' high school. the level of english varied, certainly, but on a much lower scale. teaching here was nearly impossible and it's devastating to think these people will soon be RUNNING hungarian society. lord help hungary. to sum up the year: i had problems with, shed tears over, got fighting mad at, and mentally gave up on the students, teachers, AND administrators. it got me thinking i shouldn't even be a teacher because i seriously can't cope with people behaving in ways i witnessed this year.

i am certain i won't be missed (or even remembered) in this school. i say that because they forgot about me the entire year. i also say that because of their record with native english teachers. thankfullyly, they are not representative of all hungarian people. most hungarians strive to be hospitable and friendly (at least once they get tot know you...).

last year the teachers in my old school gave me a gift and a goodbye letter with all of their signatures. even the administrators, who didn't speak english, bid me farewell with kisses and good wishes. i felt sad to leave the staff last year and knew i'd miss those people and exchanged phone numbers with some so that we'd stay in touch.

i neither expect nor want the same goodbye from these people (bad school peeps). there are 2 or 3 teachers who would give me the time of day, so i'll say goodbye to them. i'll actually MISS the financial office ladies, the cleaning staff, the ladies who guard the door, the secretary, my neighbor the priest, and the handy man when i'm gone. i guess these are more 'my people' than my "colleagues". i've never felt like part of the staff here and i'm going to count that a blessing.

i'm sorry to report this to you, family and friends (and possible strangers), really sorry. honesty has won out. this year was an emotional roller coaster from which i'm happy to alight. i'm a different person now than i was. unfortunately, i'm think i'm more bitter and cynical, less inspired, less motivated, and less hopeful. i was unprepared for such a year and my spirit paid the price for it. i'll inwardly address this during the summer, but i'm burnt out hardcore and i really need a break.

*sigh*

done.

finally.

maturity exam

this week is the érettségi. it's a maturity exam for seniors/school-leavers. they must pass this huge test (or series of tests) in order to graduate. it covers all subjects and all things they should have learned in school. there really isn't an equivalent in the american school system, though the closest thing is the SATs/ACTs... but you can fail those tests and still pass school. all kids all over hungary in all schools are taking this test and it's a huge deal.

anyway, it's happening this week. specifically monday, tuesday, and wednesday. since i'm not administering this tough test, i have three days off. yippee! i'll take what i can get while the 18 year-olds of the country show what they know.

oh, and they have to dress up all fancy to take the exam. so do the teachers who administer it.

suckas.

finally

it was so wintery for so long.

i didn't blog.

it felt so wrong.

snow was here,

snow was there.

snow was even

in the town square.

snowmen and snowballs

made it fun at first.

soon that was over, though...

and then came the worst.

piled high,

day and night.

sometimes it was

quite a sight.

flowers were planted

and so was hope

i don't think i ever really

learned how to cope.

i waited and waited

and waited some more

sure that spring was

knocking on our door.

it was a long time coming

longer than i care to say,

but now i see spring everywhere

every

single

day!

terraces came back to town

all is green that was so brown
the ghost town days have gone away

hungarians came out to play!

tulips brighten every corner

there is no better street-adorner

wedding processions all through the city

grooms so smitten, brides so pretty
cafes are open, fruit abounds

laughter and talking

are the springiest sounds

the thing i missed the most last season

was enjoying an ice cream for next to no reason

fagyi is back, back in full swing!

is there anything better that announces the spring??
morning or midday,

cone or cup

any time, any place

just lick it all up.

the thing that is most nyiregyhaza,

the thing that made white feel so black

was the fountain i love, right by my house

BUT LOOK! the fountain is BACK!!

i heart spring in hungary.

scotland - the royal mile

in edinbrugh there is a castle and a palace about a mile apart. the distance between these historic places is logically named "the royal mile." michelle wanted to take me there, so i obliged.

on the way up the hill i noticed the architecture changing...

we got a great parking spot on george street (michelle was excited) and i even saw an american flag! it's a rare site for me these days, you realize...

there were scores of older looking taxis advertising to the best of their abilities

make no mistake, irn bru was not to be outdone!

when we got close to the mile we hiked up some stairs

(i was just grateful it wasn't a hill or mountain)

then we were there: atop the royal mile at last

it's really quite a pretty place, though there are masses of tourists and touristy shops

around the middle of the mile there is a great cathedral. we went in and snooped around, but didn't PAY THE FEE to take pictures. google it if you wanna know!

the day went from sunny to overcast to gloomy over the course of two hours, but i was able to see through the gloom and notice the uniqueness of the place

despite the sometimes inclement weather, there were people enjoying themselves all over the place (michelle and me included)

the steeples in europe are sometimes so ominous looking...

i even caught a few glimpses of spring... though in my mind "spring" equates to "pretty flowers"

one side of the sky was blue, the other scary gray

scotland is covered with hills/mountains that decorate the background of everything. notice the snow... in april... aye aye aye

when we got near the castle and saw some phone booths, i couldn't keep myself from going in one. i'm a tourist at heart sometimes, i guess :)

from the castle wall i could see pretty buildings everywhere

the view from castle hill

after the compulsory tourist walk, we went shopping. no matter that it was easter day, as no one even seemed to realize that it was the resurrection day in the UK. all the shops and restaurants were open, people were bustling to and fro, and i didn't see a single egg, bunny, or cross.

whatev, we shopped.

i picked up some scottish stuff for a few friends in hungary and tried on a piece of scotland myself.

there was a bagpiper, niel, who was a kindly gent. he tolerated my questions and seemed to really enjoy his job. i didn't let on how much i dislike the sound of the silly instrument, but rather requested 'amazing grace' and listened to him blow his bag.

look how presh! it sounded just like i imagined/remembered. no need to post a video.

actually, i'll post THIS video instead:

Ross Playing the Bagpipe + Bloopers (HILARIOUS!!!) - The best video clips are right here